My Atlantic City Trip Report (or, "Drowning on the Jersey Shore"). WARNING: LONG AND RAMBLING POST.

So, K and I packed up a rental car and headed to AC for a winter poker trip. As a Christmas gift she got me tickets to the Anti-Social Network comedy show (Jim Norton, Dave Attel, Bill Burr, and Jim Breuer). We left early Friday and decided to make a stop in Philly at the new Parx Casino. They have an amazing poker room, it's huge and very well run. They have brush stations staggered throughout and they are on the ball. I saw several people try to just walk in and sit down without being on a list and they picked them off every time. They also have roaming chip vendors that bring you buyins so you don't have to get up. I played some $4/8 O.E. (Omaha Hi/Lo - Stud Hi/Lo mix) as I was waiting for a seat at the regular $4/8 game. My table was all 60+ year old men and one internet douchebag who was getting mauled. The old men never fold and the kid was trying to outplay them with no luck. I played a few rounds, never really got a hand and then got moved. The $4/8 limit was a complete donkfest. I was seated with an angry little asian lady that never folded and hit every hand. She played every hand all the way and twice drew out on me with gutshots. I was stuck $100 or so when the cards took a turn for the worse. In the BB I get dealt J8 off. I check in and the flop comes J-J-10 with two hearts. I lead for $4 and get two callers. Turn is a heart and I decide to lead and see if anyone raises me. Two callers and the river comes Ah. I do not have a heart so I check and the other two check. One rolls over KQ off for a straight, the other had 97 with the 9h and wins. After this I get an array of very playable hands (pairs, AK, AQ, etc) and win only one pot at the table with a flush. Frustrated, I cash out the last $85 I had on the table and we head to Atlantic City.

For our first day in A.C. we head to the Tropicana. The poker room is old and stuffy, but they had a bunch of tables going so we sit down. I buy into $2/4 for $200 and in the first round get dealt AK in the big blind. I make it $4 and the lady next to me gets mad, turns around and points at me and says "We got another one of THOSE here!" and then chastises me for raising preflop. She's pissed I raised her blind and she calls me. The flop comes K-9-5 offsuit and she checks to me. I bet, three callers. Turn is a 2. She checks again, I bet again and only she calls. River is a 4. She leads out for $4. I know she's not betting me off the hand so I just call and she rolls over 9-5 off for two pair. She then proceeds to lecture me about why I shouldn't raise and I tell her I will do it every time I have a hand. I lose about $120 over the next hour as it becomes clear that (a) no one folds, ever and (b) I cannot make a hand stick. I make two different sets that lose to gutshots and decide to just sit in at the $1/2 for a bit. It is the only bright spot in my trip. I buy in $180 and sit next to a local who informs me that the two idiots at the end are playing out of the same roll and split their money afterwards. One is a loudmouth bluffer who is simply steamrolling the table, the other is a nit. I get AJd in mid position and make it $10 to go. Three callers, flop comes J-10-4. The BB leads into me for $15 and I snap/raise to $50. He shows J3 and folds and I take a pot. I cruise for a bit until I get into a clusterfuck. I get 77 in mid position and limp. Mr. Aggro makes it $15. Three callers including his partner. I call. Flop comes 5-6-8. Mr. Aggro's partner bets $35 into the pot. I call, as do the other two. Turn is a 10. Everyone checks to me. I decide that Mr. Aggro and his partner are trying to buy this pot so I shove on them, which neither is expecting. Everyone folds and I show my pair and scoop it. After people see that Mr. Aggro is full of shit they all begin shoving on him, after losing a few hundred he and his partner leave. I then play the best hand of my trip.

I limp from UTG with AQ off and the guy across from me makes it $11 to go from the cutoff. He has a horrible betting tell - when he's weak he makes it $11 or $7 to go, when he's strong he makes it $17-$21 to go. I call him. Flop comes 3-5-6 off. I check and he bets $25. I noticed he tends to bet large/pot sized when he's missed or on a draw and tends to check raise or value bet when he hits. I decide I am good and call. Turn is a 7. I check, he bets $40. Again I call. River is a 5. I check and bets $60. I decide my read is good and I call. He says "Ace high" and rolls over A8. I table AQ and everyone is gobsmacked at my call. I scoop the pot and decide to cash out with my $14 profit and after lunch K and I head to the Taj. The Taj is a disorganized mess. The woman running the brush up front has a bad attitude and continues to berate the floor people over the microphone because they aren't moving people fast enough. I get a seat at $3/6 and play a few hands before the nasty black woman next to me starts a bunch of shit. Our table is physically smaller than the other tables around it, so the floor only seats 9 at it. She's pissed because she wants to sit 10 handed. They have one person waiting to play but the floor guy comes over and tells her it is staying 9 handed. She keeps bitching, in the meantime someone else cashes out and the guy waiting sits. He quickly chirps in with her about the 9 handed seating and the floor polls us. We all want to stay at 9 except them, so I finally tell the woman "If you want to play 10 handed, move to another table". She gives me the "Oh HELL no!" and the chicken neck and angrily storms off to another table. I tell her "Bye!" and she sits in a $2/4 and keeps bitching FOR AN HOUR. WTF is wrong with limit players? After Mz. Attitude leaves I play about an hour and take a stunning array of beats. Among my favorites: Raise from the button with 56d, turn trip 5's, lose to guy with K5. Call raise with pocket 3's, flop set, lose to runner runner flush. I cash out down $120 and sit in at $1/2 NL. I piddle along for a bit until I get into this beauty of a hand. In the cutoff with 10-9h. Raise to $10. Three callers including arabic guy who literally plays every hand. Flop comes 10-8-7. I bet, arabic guy raises me. I shove, he snap calls and rolls over 9-7. Turn? 7. River brick and he stacks me. Frustrated, I decide to leave.

After the comedy show we decided to play Borgata. I got on a $1/2 and sat at a table with a couple internet pros (headsets, hoodies, pale skin and bad attitudes). They're all trying to out level each other, and there's a drunk guy next to me playing every hand. I get into a hand with one of the "pros" who seems to be French. He limps in, I limp on the button with A9d, blinds check in and the flop comes A-2-5. Everyone checks to me, I lead out for $15. Everyone folds except Frenchie. Turn is a 4. He suddenly leads into me for $25. I've seen him trying to outplay his idiot friends, so I am trying to decide what he limped in with from the hijack that would have a 3 in it. I don't think he has an A, he'd been raising with any A. I call the $25 and the river comes A. He bets out $35 and I call, he rolls over 2-3 for the wheel. He and his internet pro buddies discuss how well he played the hand, etc. Like a real prick, he decides to rub it in by saying "Oh, it was SUITED" to me. I hadn't said anything to him about the hand, but now I was pissed off. Irritated, I wait for a chance to extract it back. A round later I get dealt 95c in the BB. One of the internet pros makes it $15 and four people call to me. I decide to take a shot and call. The flop comes Q-J-3 with 2 clubs. Frenchie inexplicably open shoves for his whole stack. I call with my flush draw and everyone else folds. Turn comes a 5, river a 9 so instead of the flush I made two pair. Frenchie proudly declares "Missed your flush, eh?" and smugly rolls over AA. I say "two pair" and table my hand. Stunned, he immediately begins trashing me for playing junk, etc, and I take delicious pride in turning to him and saying in a mock French accent "but, it was SUITED!". He begins steaming bad. A few hands later I pick up JJ in the cutoff. Frenchie makes it $20 to go. I call. Drunk guy next to me clumsily raises to $40. Frenchie shoves his stack in for $100 and I make the mistake of calling. Drunk guy calls and we take a flop of K-K-10. I check, he bets out $50. I call. Turn is a 4. I check, he checks. River is an A, I check again and he says "I think I lost" and turns over A-10. Frenchie rolls over 9's and I blow most of my profit on a stupid play. I should've shoved over top and closed out drunk guy, but I called thinking he was going to fold. I piddle some more off before I just cash out and leave.

We return to Borgata and I decide to take another run at the $3/6. I sit down with $200 and have a great table. Everyone is playing soft, they're all easy to read, I figure I can make some money back here. I am very, very wrong. I play tight for a while before getting dealt 2-5 off in the BB. Everyone limps and I check, flop comes Q-4-2. I check, as does everyone else. Turn is a 2. Bingo! I lead for $6, Vietnamese girl at the end of the table raises me. She's been pretty solid, I put her on a Q and three bet her. She just calls. River is a J. She checks, I bet $6, she just calls and rolls over JJ for a rivered boat. Ugh. A round later I get 67c on the button. I make it $6, three callers. Flop is 4c-5c-2d. SB leads out, I raise him. He calls and it's heads up. Turn is a Q. He bets again, I raise again, he calls. River is a 6. He checks to me, I check, he rolls over K3 for the straight. I mean, Christ, WTF do I have to do to hit a draw or make a hand stick? Frustrated, I soldier on. In mid position I limp with 45h. Flop comes 3-4-5 and the guy who made his straight on me bets out. Everyone else folds and I two bet him. He calls and the turn comes a K. He leads again, I raise again, he calls. River Ace. He leads again, I make the crying call and he shows AK for the running two pair. A few hands later I am in the BB again with Q6 off. A few limpers and I check in. Flop comes Q-2-3 one club. SB leads out for $3, asian lady calls, I call. Turn is the 4c. Everyone including me checks. River comes a 5 and puts three clubs out. Everyone checks to me, I put $6 out to see if my straight is good. Asian lady reluctantly calls and rolls over K9c for the flush. At least she isn't trying to get value for her hands. I rebuy another $100 and go on a ridiculous string of bad beats including flopping a set of J's and losing to runner runner flush against Mr. Lucky who has turned his $100 buyin into $500 by simply playing and winning every hand. At this point I decide I've lost enough at poker and give up. After dinner I kill time at video poker until K is ready to leave and we head back to sleep it off and drive back.

Seriously, I know I made a few bad plays/bad reads here and there, but how can one person run so bad for so long?